Focusing on the upside of change

The word “Change” wreaks havoc on us – it immediately puts us into a stress mode – we end up resisting it in a variety of ways… the inevitable flight, fight or avoid response. I have had some big changes in my life.

 Here are some recent examples:

 Starting a new career path

Learning a new skill set

Working with the new digital media

Restructuring life post kids leaving home

 In all of the above, the process was not linear, sequential or even logical. In fact, it was haphazard, uncertain, scary and personal. And highly emotional.

 But when the initial panic subsided, when I was able to let go of the fear of change, I began to embrace a new way of being. There’s a traditional saying that the mind takes its shape from what it rests upon. So, as I began to focus on the good – and allowed the “negativity bias” to fade – a strong feeling of peace came upon me. For once the mind chatter ended – as I left the self criticism, worries, blame, grumbling, anxiety, anger – when I focused on working with creating positive experiences - I began to appreciate the necessity of this change.

 So, how will you build this emotional resilience – especially when you are fighting overwhelming emotions – which I truly hope you are not. If you are not too deep in panic, then allow some pleasant emotions to filter into your consciousness. Try focusing exclusively on them. Did you feel good when someone smiled at you? Allow that to build into your awareness. Build a gratitude journal. What are your blessings? If it doesn’t work the first few times, keep trying. Deep change takes a few tries.

There is a deeper principle behind this – your experiences are shaping your brain. What you practice in the moment becomes your reality. In the saying in neuroscience: Neurons that fire together, wire together. Mental states become neural traits. Day after day, your mind is building your brain.

How ready are you to change? In other words, how are you experiencing the changes around you? How exactly are they impacting you? Are they scaring you so much, you would only focus on the negativity? Avoid thinking about it? Become reactive? Get angry? Or are you focusing on the acceptance of change of direction.

Also, you might notice that you have some unconscious thoughts about what this change means or about your own resourcefulness. Become self reflective. What is the continuous dialogue in your mind about your situation? Is this raking up old fears? are you operating from a position of helplessness or another kind of lack?

Walking the path of change is for the wise and courageous. Security is mostly a superstition - Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.  If you are feeling too  overwhelmed – don’t be ashamed or even worse become passive to seek help. Removing blocks and barriers to change is an emotional journey. How will you stay ‘emotionally intelligent?”. This need not be a lonely emotional journey – a brief coaching intervention can make you aware of what needs to change in your life and how to embrace the change. NLP ( Neuro- linguistic programming) has many simple practices that can put you on a path to recovery. Why not engage a coach to become more change - ready?

Where your fear is, there is your task. Carl Jung